What does it mean to ‘Do You’?

When I first started thinking about setting up my coaching practice, my mind was buzzing with so many different ideas. But the main question was “What do I call my business?” Lots of coaches use their name, which makes a lot of sense. ‘Claire Sanders Coaching’ would have been fine, but somehow it didn’t feel quite right for me. For those that have known me a lot longer, I did consider ‘Free Your Mind with Fraggle’ for a moment (OK, I’m joking).

After toying with a few different options, I landed on You Do You. But what’s the philosophy behind the name? I guess this is where my personal story comes into it. For too long I felt like I was living life on auto-pilot, not really fully understanding my own thoughts and feelings; ignoring my intuition and blindly running from one thing to the next without ever stopping to ask myself why. Sound familiar?

This year has given us the biggest period of collective self-reflection we’ve probably ever experienced. So how can you continue to build on this?

Recognising your strengths. Have you ever noticed that when someone says something negative, you remember that comment more than anything else?

“Our tendency to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive”. (Source: What Is the Negativity Bias? - Very Well Mind)

But rather than focusing on the negative, how about consciously zoning in on your superpowers? Try this: Ask five friends what they’d say your key strengths are. By getting a different perspective, it helps us to see ourselves in a new light. You might just be surprised by the answers. Alternatively, think about those moments you’re most proud of. What does that say about you? What qualities does it highlight? You Do You means celebrating you at your best, harnessing those unique qualities and building on those moments where you feel most confident.

Defining your values. You can’t ‘Do You’ if you don’t know what’s actually important to you. Too often we’re so caught up with the ‘busy, busy, busy, go, go, go’ that we don’t stop to pause and work out what we value the most. How many times have you heard a story about someone going through a life-changing event and it’s only then that they realise what matters the most?. Why do we wait for something to stop us in our tracks? By getting clear on what drives and motivates you, you’re able to reassess your life’s priorities, and - if necessary - get back on track; before life forces you to sit up and take notice. You Do You means not only identifying your values, but making active choices to move you closer to them.

Challenging expectations. Ooh, this is a big one. I recently featured as a guest on a podcast exploring ‘The Tyranny of the Shoulds’ and how different “shoulds” tend to govern various aspects of our lives. In this episode, we talked about “chasing the money”, and how purely financial measures of success can often leave us feeling disillusioned. But it’s not just limited to work. Have you ever found yourself saying “I should have [reached this milestone] by [this age]? Often we feel like failures if we don’t tick these life stages off the list. But the bigger question when you hear the “shoulds” is to ask yourself, “Says who?”. Who’s voice is it? Friends, family, authority figures, colleagues? The expectations we put on ourselves are often the biggest reason we get ourselves in a pickle, feeling disappointed and beating ourselves up if things don’t work out exactly as planned. Or sometimes, by following the “shoulds”, we find ourselves trapped in a situation that really isn’t working for us. You Do You means ditching these unhelpful expectations, and treading your own path.    

All of us are multi-faceted; we’re made up of all our lived experiences. A little bit of us is our relationship with our parents, another bit is how we relate to our friends. And let’s face it, a bit of us is also that 13-year-old who felt left out at school. But You Do You isn’t about saying “p*ss off” to the world. It’s about being more you, less someone else. It’s figuring yourself out, so you can see things more clearly. It’s the courage to be imperfect, but at the same time, recognising your strengths and being willing to grow. 

Result? You embrace the full-blown, wonderful you. You start to discover what you want. More importantly, you discover what you don’t want and why. And once you start to understand all of this, it becomes easier to make decisions. You can start to set boundaries and work out where to focus your energy. You begin to have more honest conversations, with yourself and others. As my coach once said to me “Knowledge [of yourself] is information. Application is transformation.” And slowly but surely, you find your own lane.

Do you want to get clear on what’s really important to you?

You might like my Personal Values Workshop – which combines an interactive values exercise, together with an insightful conversation, to help you figure out what truly motivates and drives you.

Need some more inspiration? You can also sign up for my ‘10 Big Questions’ free download here.

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